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As many of you know “07″ wasn’t very kind to our family. If I could I would erase it from history and pretend the whole year just didn’t happen. Since that is not possible we are just moving on and making the most of a new year.

Among many horrible events of “07″ there is one that sticks out the most. For the first time in my life I got an up close look at cancer and what an ugly horrible disease cancer is. I very unexpectedly lost my biological father to cancer. This came just weeks after my mother-in-law found out she had breast cancer.

Loosing my dad was a huge shock, I didn’t even know he was sick. I just got a phone call one day that he had died. I missed the chance to say goodbye, and maybe resolve old issues.

The loss of my dad also made my mother-in-laws cancer uncomfortably real. I don’t deal well with things I can’t fix so I threw myself into caring for her the best way I knew how. I cooked, I cleaned, I ran errands, I took her to her appointments, and I prayed a lot.

I watched as cancer took everything from her, first her hair and slowly it robbed her of her ability to even get out of bed. Through it all she was a tower of strength and dignity. She was worried about how her kids and grand kids would react to her bald head. It didn’t bother us any, and she slowly started going without a wig more and more. We laughed and joked with her about the situation and she helped get all of us through it. My hubby even suggested she dress up like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family for Halloween.

After 9 long months she beat it. She worked really hard at getting her strength back, and is now in London with my father in law on a church mission. I’m sure she would say that all she went through was worth it to be where she is now. We are truly blessed to still have her with us, and to have her healthy enough to serve the way she is.

This year in honor of my wonderful mother-in-law and all the other brave women battling this ugly disease our family will be running in the Susan G. Komen breast cancer race in Salt Lake city. The race will be on May 10th at the Gateway mall. If you want to join the fun you can register here online.

I am in no way ready to run a 5k, yes I am that out of shape. I am setting my standards very low. My goal is to finish the race. I think that one I can manage. I will be running with my sister-in-law, my 13 year old daughter, and many friends who are joining the cause. I hope to never have to deal with cancer again although I know this is very unlikely.

I have to admit that I am totally an Oprah fan. I don’t watch her show very often, because I just don’t watch that much TV, but I love her for what she tries to do. I really feel she tries the best way she knows how to help people. I admire the fact that she doesn’t just throw money at people and assume that money will fix their problems. She tries to educate people and show them how to change their own life’s and I love that.

When I heard about her new show “The Big Give“, I had to give up my ban on TV and watch. I was hooked from the first moment. The idea that you can turn charity into a amazingly fun show to watch was really intriguing. I have faithfully watched it since it’s first episode and continue to love it.

Yesterday I got a phone call from my sister who works for a granite counter company. She was calling to tell me that they had been contacted by Oprah’s people to do granite counter tops on a Big Give episode that will be filmed here in Salt Lake City. The whole thing is fake! They set up ahead of time those who will donate. The contestants are given the people to contact who have already agreed to donate.

I am totally disappointed about this. I still think that the idea for the show is great, but it will be hard to watch when I know that all those phone calls they are making begging for people to help someones dream come true are totally fake.

Oprah came down hard on an author who “exaggerated” his life story in a book that she loved, isn’t this the same thing?

I feel like a kid who just found out there is no Santa Claus. What do you think? Have you ever really been let down by someone you admired?

The stupidest Mormon pick up line EVER.

Guy: “Is your name virtue.”

Girl: “No, why?”

Guy: “because you garnish my thoughts unceasingly.” (D&C 121:45)

Seriously. Are you kidding me? I couldn’t believe this actually came out of the mouth of a boy my daughters age. Some kid said this to one of her friends. In all fairness he is only in the 7th grade, but give me a break!

So tell me, what is the stupidest pickup line you’ve heard?

I have pretty great parents. I grew up in a very socially and ethnically diverse area. I feel it made me a pretty understanding and tolerant person.

As a kid I was aloud to try many religions, and have learned some amazing life lessons from all the wonderful religions I had the opportunity to visit. I loved how the Southern Baptists celebrated there faith with music and dance. While visiting you could really feel there faith. They also had a awesome summer Bible camp that I attended every summer (until they found out I was Mormon, and asked me to never come back)

As a kid I remember the Jehovah Witnesses as being the funnest church, did you know that a lot of there buildings have cafeteria’s with ice cream machines ( I think it’s their equivalent of a Stake center). During intermission my friend and I helped ourselves to huge cones and I couldn’t help but think they were way cooler than our church.Â

As a teen I went to a Methodist sleep in, totally fun. It’s like a huge slumber party only better.

I enjoyed the solemn rituals of the Catholic church, (the Catholic church was by far the dominate religion in our area) and learned from the Muslim’s to always research what you believe, and not just take everyone else’s word for it. Gain your own testimony not just have one handed to you.

The lesson’s I’ve learned have served me well in my life, but our religion has always been where my heart belongs. All the other church’s had a lot to offer, but I always came back to what I knew to be true. I have always been grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity to find out for myself.

I want this for my kids, but find it difficult to show them diversity while living in Utah. Don’t get me wrong I love living here, I just realize I have to work a little harder to teach my kids that not everyone thinks the way we do and that it’s ok.

This year I have decided to join the Lent band wagon. I am not Catholic, but as a Mormon I know a little something about self deprivation. So this year in honor of Lent (and my diet) I will be giving up soda. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but for me it is A LOT.

In honor of our dear late prophet I will also be reading the Book of Mormon in 97 days for the 97 years of his life.

So tell me are you giving something up for Lent? If not do you have any special goals or New Years resolutions?

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Growing up in Seattle we didn’t see a whole lot of snow. Rain yes, but snow no. When it did snow, it was a big mushy mess, and everything shut down. We could get less than 1/2 an inch of snow and the whole city would come to a grinding halt. No stores open, no work, but most of all no school.

The city was just not equipped with snow removal gear or at least not enough. Since it only snowed once or maybe twice a year, I guess they didn’t think it was worth it to buy a bunch of plows.

Of course we didn’t mind, we loved snow days. We would brake into the golf course and slide down the hills.

When we moved to Idaho we had lots and LOTS of snow. The first week we were there it snowed about a foot and a half. I waited for the announcement that school would be closed and planned on a fun day with snow forts, sledding and hot coco. The announcement never came, Idaho schools don’t close because of snow. I couldn’t believe it how did they function with all this snow.

In all the years we lived in Idaho they only closed school once, and that was not because of snow. It was because the heater went out in the building and it was about 5 degrees outside. That brings me to another fun fact about Idaho, if it is above 0 then the kids have to go out for recess. They are only aloud to stay in if the temperature dips into the negative range. How crazy is that?

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland outside, and I couldn’t’ get off our hill to get the kids to school. A very nice neighbor put chains on his car and drove them to school late.

Being new to Utah, I’m just wondering what is Utah’s policy on snow days, and what are your favorite snow day memories?

On a side note, I got a phone call from my mom last night. She called to tell me that the girl in Lehi who was killed by her husband at church was my childhood friend Christy from Seattle. I hadn’t put it together since I haven’t seen her since we were little and her last name is different. I’m still processing this, I’m sure I’ll write more about it later. Until then please pray for her family.

So I asked for suggestions on what I could write about, and I got a couple of great ideas. Lucky says that I should write about my childhood, but I don’t have interesting stories like getting run over by a taxi while laying in the middle of the road on a speed bump like she does. Really you should ask her about it sometime.

Compulsive writer suggested that I write a year in review, and since it is New Years Eve I thought that wasn’t a bad idea. The problem with that idea is that we had a really REALLY horrible year that I have so generously spared you the details of.

I think a year in review is the perfect way to say goodbye to a horrible year. If you choose to click away now I would totally understand. If your still with me here we go.

January started out as a total whirlwind. January is our busy season (we do wedding trade shows) and we worked even more than usual. My hubby travels about half the month, but this year he was gone the whole month except for a few days when he was home in passing. So I spent the month playing single mother, while putting out fires at work. Ash spent the month in airports, and hotels.

January spilled into February, and although life was suppose to slow down we found ourselves working 7 days a week through all of February. Ash was asked to speak at conferences so he ended up out of town about half of February.

March came, and we were ready for life to get back to normal for a while, but it didn’t happen. While going to the doctor for a physical so she could put in her mission papers, my mother in law found out she had breast cancer. When they went in to do the surgery they found that it had spread through her lymph nodes and was worse than they thought.

By April we decided that we were in desperate need of a family vacation. There was a huge divide between us and the kids because we had been in survival mode for so long. We set off for southern California to hang out in the sun, swim in the pool, and be with Ash’s mom while she recovered from surgery and began chemotherapy. The day after we got there I received a phone call that my dad had passed away.

My dad left before I was 2 years old, and only made brief appearances in my life for the next 18 years (that is probably a post for another day). I never realized how much pain and grief I could feel for the loss of a man a barely new. I grieve the loss of opportunity to spend what little time I had with him. I find myself angry at those who kept my dad from being part of my life (his second wife). I once read another bloggers post about her dad, and she said she felt like she had “a dad shaped hole in her heart”, and that’s how I felt.

The next few months are a blur, as I put my head down and avoided life. I trudged through every day until the dark skies finally parted.

In June Ash got me a new puppy, that I love.

In July my mother and father-in-law moved to Utah, and I threw myself into taking care of her to distract myself from my own pain and problems. I cooked, cleaned, and ran errands for her while taking her to many appointments for her cancer treatment. We also had 3 teenage nephews come and stay with us. Two of them came for 10 days and the third stayed for 6 more weeks until mid August. We had a great time, and it was a wonderful distraction, but was also very tiring.

August was spent entertaining the nephews, and showing them all over Utah. I went to Cub Scout day camp with my Wolf den. During lunch I got a phone call that my mother-in-law had a seizure and was on her way to the hospital by ambulance. She ended up ok she had a few stitches and a huge black eye but over all she was fine. They did take her license away for six month so we started having to drive her everywhere.

At the end of August we decided to try another family vacation since our last attempt was a total disaster so we left for Hawaii. Ash and I have promised the kids a trip to Hawaii for years (Ash is from Hawaii). We can’t mange a family vacation without a major disaster, and this one was no different. We had a earthquake, and a hurricane during our trip.

Is anyone still with me?

Well next comes September, and September is our second really busy season so Ash was gone the whole month, and half of October to. By September I realize that we need to make some major changes and I started doing some serious soul searching.

October brought still more craziness, but attending the temple while Ash was out of town, and a lot of scripture reading brought a little peace to my life.

I got a phone call in mid October from Ash’s brother in Iraq asking me if I knew what had happened to his friend Ben. I will spare you the details, because I wrote about it here and here, but after a little detective work I found out that Ben had been in an accident, and was now a quadriplegic, and I spent the next few weeks at the ICU helping out as much as I could.

November was spent at the hospital doing what I could.

Mid November the bishop called me in to let me know that he was going to release me from my calling because he thought I needed a break.

In December family relationships came to a full boil (because of the family business) and we decided that it is time to leave the family business and do something else. I know this is the right thing to do, but it makes our future a little unsure. I have faith that the Lord will take care of us, but I don’t know what the next few months will hold for us.

If this whole post isn’t pathetic enough I’m spending New Years Eve taking care of my hubby, who is horribly sick.

I’m sure by now I have lost you all with my whining, but on the off chance that anyone is still reading this I need to throw in a few good things that happened this year.

1. Sadie went to the temple to do baptisms for the first time.
2. I discovered weight watchers, and have lost 22lbs
3. Ash met one of his idols Seth Godin (who shaved his head)
4. We went to Hawaii
5. My mother in-law finished chemo and radiation and appears to be doing well
6. My mother and father in-law got a mission call to London and will be leaving in February.
7. My children are healthy
8. We had a very generous friend donate a $200 gift certificate for Christmas to Ben and his family.
9. We raised about $2,000 at a benefit dinner for Ben.

Here is hoping for a better new year.

Happy New Year everyone!

I am totally in a writing funk, and have been for quit a while. I swear I’m not this boring in real life. I have resorted to only posting pictures of my kids, weight watchers results, and my latest book reviews. Snooze-ville I know. I’m kind of in survival mode with life lately.

Today I had the pleasure of going to lunch with some amazing, Witty, and fun ladies who make me want to step up my game, and blog about something real. I felt like a school girl going to school for the first day. Totally worried I would be discovered for the dork that I really am (I think I might have fooled them). Thank you Azucar for letting me crash your party. When you put it out on the Internet that your meeting for lunch you open yourself up to all the crazies to show up, thanks for taking that risk and allowing your fans to come meet you.

So any advice on my writing funk? Maybe some suggestions on what I could write about?

P.S. Azucar the marshmallows are Divine!

Christmas is in full swing at our house, and the kids are beside themselves with excitement. My middle child is by far the most excited. He only wants one thing for Christmas, but if he didn’t get it he might be totally bummed.

Ash and I FINISHED Christmas shopping last night for our kids. Yeah! We had a good time while grandma stayed home and watched the kids. It is such a relief to be done.

I tease Ash that he is “Bah Humbug” about Christmas, which really isn’t true he just hates all the fuss about presents and Santa and that stuff. So yesterday while shopping I found the cutest sign for him that says it perfectly.

Cute huh! Anyway because we don’t like to get wrapped up in the what are we getting for Christmas nonsense we have always tried really hard to make the giving part the fun part. We spend a lot of time doing fun Christmas activities like making Gingerbread houses with grandma, and visiting the lights at Temple Square. This year we decided to try the Polar Express up in Heber. It was a lot of fun. The kids really liked it, even our 12 year old. The price was a little steep, but I think it was worth it. Oh and did I mention that Dallin H. Oakes just happened to be on the train to.

Kids and their cousins with Santa on the train.

 Dallin H Oakes talking with the kids.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday season. Merry Christmas!

We have been clocking a LOT of work hours for a pretty long time now, and need to find a better balance to life. We have decided the last few weeks to take at least half of our Saturdays off, and do something fun with the kids. This past Saturday we took the kids and headed up to Salt Lake to see the children’s museum at the Gateway mall, and check out the Robots exhibit. (My oldest was thrilled ;0)

I haven’t ever been to the children’s museum in Salt Lake, but we really enjoy the one in Palm Springs, and the one in Seattle as well, so it sounded fun. It wasn’t bad, but the Robots exhibit was a little disappointing. There wasn’t much to do except line up dominoes, which my kids could do at home. The rest was just a lot of looking at displays, and watching short videos about how robotics works or how they made the movie Robots.

The rest of the museum was fun. We enjoyed the TV studio, and sending messages back and forth through a tube and a laundry line. Cole loved playing in the water down stairs, and shooting balls through a tube in the garden area.

Dallin took the news cast very serious, but Cole not so much. He was to into seeing himself on TV.

After the museum I talked Ash into going to the Festival or Trees in Sandy. We had a great time looking at all the beautiful trees, but I forgot to take pictures. Maybe next time.

NaBloPoMo means that you either spend the month writing like crazy, or reading like crazy thus neglecting your own blog. This year I chose the second of these two options, and have had a great time reading and commenting on others blogs. There are so many really creative and great bloggers out there, and surprisingly Utah is REALLY well represented. I can’t believe how many extremely talented bloggers are right here in my own back yard. I’ve loved NaBloPoMo and maybe next year I’ll attemt to join in. Okay well maybe not ;0)

When I was young girl’s camp was the highlight of my year. I looked forward to it for months. I would get our camp list of what we had to bring, and carefully go over it to make sure I had everything necessary on the list (most of which I never used, like what did I really need mole skin for. Really it wasn’t like we actually hiked anywhere).

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My first year at camp we had meetings months before camp to get us ready. There was lots of stuff that had to be passed off before we could go. One of the things we had to learn was sign language. I was very excited to learn, especially when they told us that their was another first year girl, who was deaf that would be at camp that year. We were all going to be assigned times during the day to buddy up with her, and interpret for her. We had to learn all the camp songs, and signs for general conversation. We all worked really hard to learn our parts, and I was extra excited to get to know this new girl.

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When we got to camp and were introduced to Shelly (not her real name) she made it clear right away that she wasn’t interested in being our friend or getting to know us. She was cranky and mean spirited, and didn’t want anything to do with anyone except for a few girls she had know since she was little. All week long I tried to talk to her, and ask her about herself but I could never get through to her. I felt horrible, I truly wanted to get to know her, but she was not interested.

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The second year of camp I once again tried to befriend her, but after only a day I realized that I was there to do my “job” and nothing else. I continued to sign for her for all 4 years of girls camp, never learning a thing about her. I knew she was capable of being pleasant I saw her with other girls having a good time, but when it came to me she was all business.

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Years have gone by, and I have thought about Shelly from time to time. I’ve realized that she probably didn’t like feeling like a charity case. I’m sure she resented the fact that people seemed to want to befriend her just because she was deaf and all she wanted was to be like everyone else. I’m sure she questioned our motives especially because we were assigned to help her. I know her mother insisted on having people around her that could help her while she was away, and being a teenager she probably hated that. Whatever reason she had to not trust or like us I wish I would have got to know her better.

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A few months ago I was at my local grocery store and noticed a lady a few cash registers down. I couldn’t believe that it could really be Shelly. We now live far away from home what are the chances of running into her here in Utah? Then I noticed her signing to what I assume was her husband, and she had a little baby in her cart. I watched them from afar to chicken to go up and say hi. She looked happy, and her baby was so sweet. I wondered how she would react seeing me years later. I watched them go out to there car and drive away.

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Then again a few days ago I saw her at that same Macy’s store, this time with a van full of kids. I wonder why I care so much that she didn’t like me. I’m not one of those people who has to have everyone like me. Maybe it is because she never gave me a chance. I’m not sure, but maybe this is my chance to try again.

I often tease my hubby when he talks about growing up here in happy valley, and the drug problem at his school. He would tell me about kids stealing prescription pills from their parents, or even one kid who would throw himself down the stairs to get pain meds.

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This was incredibly funny to me because were I grew up (in the ghetto) we had a crack man that set up shop on the sidewalk in front of our school, armed security guards, metal detectors, and weed might as well have been sold in the vending machines. It was really that accessible.

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A few months ago while taking a trip to hell Walmart with my new puppy, I was approached by a girl who was interested in asking questions about Bailey. There was nothing in particular about her that was alarming, but every bell and whistle in my head went off. I knew she wanted to take Bailey. When she got closer I could see signs that I was right and she probably was a meth head. Meth isn’t a drug that I’m really familiar with. It wasn’t as readily available in our area, but I saw how twitchy and jumpy she was and just knew. Then she asked if she could hold her, and the red flags really went off. I told her no, and made an abrupt exit into the store.

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As soon as I got into Walmart the annoying nice greeter told me that Bailey would have to wait in the car. I turned around and marched right back to the car. When I got out front I saw two guys chasing down the same girl for trying to steal a bike from the bike rack out front. She was yelling “I’m sorry I’m sorry” and running off. They chased her away, and returned the bike.

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I knew it, I wasn’t crazy that lady wanted to steal my dog to sell for drugs. (Bailey ain’t cheap, she would have been in meth heaven for awhile) I have always prided myself on being street smart and on that day it paid off. When I got home I told Ash all about it, but he didn’t seem as surprised as I was. I guess there really is a drug problem in happy valley. I need to do more to warn my kids.

Blogging is such a funny thing. I’ve been blogging for work for about 2 years now. I sometimes struggle with writing this blog because I’m so used to blogging for my job, and there is just something you can’t say when working. It’s strange to me that I can write about whatever I’m thinking, and total strangers could be reading it. (I convince myself that they are not, it makes me feel better;0)

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I flip flop between not wanting to share stuff for fear of being embarrassed, to saying everything that pops in to my head (and probably offending someone).

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I’ve been reading others blogs for a few years now, and it seems like I know more about these people, and their lives than I do about very good friends. I read about their children, families, hobbies, and experience. I listen and grieve with them through hard times and get excited for them in good times. Many of these people I will never meet, and probably don’t even know I’m following along. Which brings me to another point; I love seeing so many people comment on others blogs, but I worry about intruding if I do. I know its not intruding if they put it out there for the world to see, but still it feels like voyeurism at its best.

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Lately a few of the blogs that I have read on a regular basis have been shut off, and I feel like I’ve lost a friend, how weird is that. When people go a long time without posting I feel some kind of with drawl. (I know sounds obsessive) It’s just like missing a friend.

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I know that some of the Utah bloggers get together from time to time, maybe I just need to get up enough courage to introduce myself and make some more friends online. The few times I have met people from online it has been great (not scary at all). When I got brave enough to post a comment on Isabel’s blog she realized that her and I had a connection from Seattle that we hadn’t know before. Like she said “we are practically related.”

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Those who know me will be surprised at how shy I really am (I can be quit a loud mouth in person). Blogging is great, I might be an addict, but I don’t watch to much TVÂ so everyone has to have one obsession. This just happens to be mine. Thanks to all the great witty bloggers out their that make the Internet a fun place to hang out.

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My assignment for the week: introduce myself to 2 new bloggers, and leave comments on their blog. (I’m starting small)

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What are your goals for the week?

We have got a lot of phone calls, and emails from people asking where they can donate money if they can’t make it tonight. Ash has set up an account to take donations, just go to www.ashbuckles.com, and click on the donate button.

Thank you to everyone for your support, we really do have the greatest friends!!! Hope to see a bunch of you their tonight.

OK I’m finally able to let everyone know about the benefit dinner for Ben and his wife Megan. On Tuesday the 23rd (sorry about the late notice) at Biaggi’s Restaurant in Salt Lake city we will be having a benefit dinner. It will be from 4 until 10 o’clock, and the cost is only $10 a person. All proceeds will be going to Ben and his family to help cover medical expenses. If any of you have been to Biaggi’s before you know it is a fabulous restaurant and this price is a real steal. They will be serving Spaghetti Pomodoro, and a salad. Biaggi’s is located at the south east corner of the Gateway mall, and the address is 194 South 400 West.